Life appears as a dreary existence of heartache and poignant misery when:
1.) Hours upon hours of dedicated work to a cause only renders the average benefits
2.) Your brother, young and impressionable, has a Xanga site that is entitled “Hopes and Dreams crushed… love hurts.”
3.) You cannot trust friends for the fear of ulterior plans, such as ending your life
4.) Sleep is evasive and won’t come softly in the night
5.) The only constant companion is an incessant headache
But even though those are dampening points in life (at least mine), I am strangely at peace in my little world. Although I spend myriads of time to devoted study for my Arabic class and can only get mediocre grades, I am thrilled with what I have learned and what lies ahead to be learned. While it may be depressing that my brother feels that there is little in his life that is worth the pain at this time, I am eternally grateful that he is willing to talk with me and share his thoughts with me. And although there is an air of distrust floating near at every waking moment, the need for allusiveness is thrilling. And although I have been averaging three and a half hours of sleep each night for the past week and a half, I am not fatigued to the point of mortal exhaustion. And although the only companion that is willing to stay with me through it all is a headache that ranges from a jack-hammer throb to a constant pain creeping from the neck upwards, it is alright because I know that I am blessed to know that pain is but a means of spiritual reminding.
Things are all right in my world. And for that, I am truly grateful and happy.
