A Hint for Perspicacity

I have been misunderstood a lot lately, probably because oft times I would rather not communicate with others… so I thought to ease the contemplative brooding of all who are out there concerned at my current behavior, I would outline a few clues to my actual self:

Silence is Golden. I do not like to talk a lot. The thoughts that I have I most often want to keep to myself. Others, in my opinion, do not need to know what is going on inside of my brain. If they did need to know, then I am assured in my mind that the Creator would have made necessary means for telekinetics. My silence does NOT mean that I am upset with you or mad about something or another.

True Meaning. When I am talking to others, I usually do not say things the way that I see them exactly. For instance, when I am questioned about my day, I will either tell it to be better than it was, or worse. Normally I like to give a pat answer that it was fine…and I appreciate it when people accept that answer without interrogation. When I am asked about a guy, I will most assuredly am telling the truth when I say that he is nice, but I am not interested. When I am saying that I like him… or of that sort… it is usually because I am sick of being asked who I like (hence, I give in and pick a random guy to “like”).

Oddness to Extremity. I like to be different. I do not like to be cast into the same mold as everyone else on the planet. I like various things, so I will engage in those various things…even if they are considered weird and off-kilter. I am NOT trying to make a statement.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness. True, I like to have things clean. False, I am not a cleanliness freak. When I clean something, it is not because I am sick of the mess generally, more likely the reason behind my cleaning is because I am thinking, and when that occurs (yes… it is very seldom) I like to be making use of my hands as well and have discovered that cleaning is a very good combination to thinking.

Hopefully this will help you discern my intent. But do not try to read to far into things, ‘casue you’ll likely miss the mark. Anyway… I am sorry if I have offended you because of my mannerisms. Please forgive.

to them i say BLAH!

The simplicity matters of life are rather complex. Rather, what should be simple has been made to be very complex and confusing. Why is this? It is because everybody messes up and makes it as such. Like introductions are complex matters because weirdo psychiatrists have made “studies” that allow people to look beyond what truly should matter. Here are a few instances:

1. Two individuals meet at a BYU football game. They are sitting in one of the multiple student sections and during a brief commercial break, when the purple pants man is standing on the field, a guy turns to the girl beside him (unknown to him before the game) and talks with her. They hit it off fairly well. Then the game resumes. The girl, smitten with this gentleman, tries to carry on various conversations with him, only he wont look her in the eye and only answered in short and brief responses that barely filled the full question. She leaves with her roommates terribly distraught that he was so uncommittal. She later explains to her roommates that he didn’t even keep eye contact; there must be something that he was unwilling to share!
2. A male student spent a long night doing homework and the next day was fighting hard not to fall asleep in one of his classes. The girl that sat behind him noticed and noted it in the back of her mind. A few days later, the guy is sitting next to the girl and at the end of class asks if she would like to do something that upcoming weekend. She replies that she would rather not. She expounds upon it by saying that she really did not want to get involved with someone who was irresponsible.
3. A female BYU student woke up ten minutes after her first class had begun, so she grabbed the first thing she found… which happened to be the same shirt she wore the day before, and threw her hair into a messy bun and ran out the door. She got to class a few minutes later, looking disheveled, but there. The guy that she had been flirting with for a week noticed and was rather disgusted that she wore the same shirt. He quit flirting with her, because of her apparent lack of hygiene
4. In the BYU library, a young woman is studying at a table. She is in the process of revising a paper for the millionth time and has red highlighted areas peppered through out-simply because she does not like the wording or the innotation of the writing. The area she is studying is fairly full. A guy walks in and looks for a place to sit. The girl with the peppered-red paper is sitting at a table by herself, so the guy decides to sit there as well. He sits on the same side as her, and stretches out his hand to her. She, while raising an eyebrow, shakes it. Meanwhile the man whispers what his name is and states that he is junior in the college of humanities. She smiles politely, but is thinking to herself that she would really like it if she could remember the word that seemed to fit perfectly before he showed up. He continued on and inquired as to her name. She replied. Coaxing more information out of her, he asks what she is studying, her college status, her age, and a few other things. She answers the questions fully, but rather briefly…she really wanted to get back to her paper. This guy says, noting her lack of verbose answers, “Well, then.”

In innocent misunderstanding, she asks, “What?”

“Since you asked I will tell you. You are not a very friendly person. First your handshake should have been enough to let me know. But then you refused to answer my questions. I hope you have a nice night. I am going to go find somewhere else to study.”

And he left the girl slightly confused by what happened.

_____
So why do these things happen? Because a person somewhere in the world…Sigmund Freud perhaps…decided that life was too simple the way people just accepted slip ups or odd idiosyncrasies. I say, “Blah,” to them all!

Reflection of Inner Disunity

1. Things are great in life when one is able to go to sleep knowing that all homework that is due the following morn is done. Unfortunately, that state of euphoria is severely lacking in my life. Nope, I have so great a burden of homework that it makes the climb of Reinhold Mesner look infinitesimal in comparison.
   
2. Things are great in life when one is able to walk out the door feeling as if the world is going to stop its habitual rotation because it is caught in stunned awe at the beauty of oneself. Unfortunately (maybe it should be fortunately), that state of confidence is MIA when it roles around to me.
   Guys, just a hint for you: Do not cat-call a girl on a day that she is not feeling even the slightest bit on the pretty side of the mirror…I understand that it is hard to discern when that is so, when in doubt forgo the whistle.
   
3. Things are great in life when one is able to take time to write a few contemplations without feeling guilty of wasting precious time. Unfortunately, I feel as if every second that I am spending writing this blog or in my journal is a tic-mark off of my ‘salvation record.’ I am sure that Dante would have me quickly signed away to be in the outer circles of the Inferno.
   
   

The Peruvian Man

The Peruvian Man
A Novella

Life on the wondrous Earth that our Brother created for us in the name of the Father is interesting because of the interaction between each individual. A child is born, raised, and then goes off to discover himself/herself in a way that is seemingly befitting. Such is the case with my roommates and me.

I was born to wonderful parents who care for me greatly, they raised me while gaining wisdom, and then I set off for a university that has been dubbed as ‘The Lord’s University’ (I cannot attest that to be entirely accurate). It is here in Provo, UT that I met the girls with whom I now reside. We have done a lot together, and on the ninth of October in the year of our Lord 2004, we embarked upon a grand adventure. Unbeknownst to us, this adventure would lay a foundation of laughter and delight for months to come.

We left our humble abode around noon, meandered to the Black Beauty, and pilled in as we hurried off as a thundering herd of stags incessant on a refreshing run of freedom. These wondrous girls and I cautiously navigated the bustling streets to a few blocks down, where we found our destination sitting serenely against the mountainous backdrop for which Utah is famous: Smith’s.

All four of us tumbled out of the car and walked with dignity into the store, grabbed a shopping cart, and proceeded forth with lists in one hand and determination in our eyes. We soon realized that it was going to be impossible to fit all of our purchases in one cart so I ran back to the front to get a second. Meagan and Adriane shared the first, Annie and I the second. Due to the variety of each one of our lists, we decided to split for a time. Meagan and I had a common need to find pasta sauce. We left Annie and Adriane to their own intuition and progressed to the aisle marked as Pasta and Sauce.

Meagan and I were in the midst of an in-depth scrutinization of the various merits that the assorted sauces entailed, when to our astonishment, a man- stout, sweaty, and clad in rumpled clothing- sashayed up to us and poked me on the shoulder. Then with all the suave mannerism he could muster, he waved ‘Hi.’ I smiled and returned the salutation. Then he walked on with a smile splitting his face.

I leaned in toward Meagan and whispered, “I think he works with Antonio.” We continued our business about choosing a sauce. After about thirty seconds of further deliberation, I settled for Ragu with onions and green peppers. I do not recall what Meagan had selected. We placed the items in the cart and had scarcely walked a meager two dozen steps, when to our surprise, the Peruvian man returned. This is what ensued:

In greatly broken English he stated, “You are really cute. Yeah. Your face. Yes. Your hair is cute.”
I was bright red at this point, I assure you.

He turned to Meagan and said, “She is cute, yeah?” While Meagan was suppressing an incontrollable urge to laugh hysterically and nodding her consent, the guy turned to me and asked, “So do you have…. what’s de word? Umm…umm…dates? Yeah dates?”

I, believing that he was inquiring simply because of my welfare like Antonio does, answered, “No. Can’t say that I have been busy with those. Nope, not at all.”

He smiled and then told me again that I am cute. Then he said, “Do you have a, um, a…phone number? So we could be friends, yes?”

Bewildered and not sure of what to do I said, “Yes.” He gave me a piece of paper and I wrote down my number. He left with a triumphant smile on his face, leaving me with a sickening dread. As soon as he was out of sight, Meagan guffawed. I started in with my moans of terror. I made Meagan swear not to say another word until we were in the car.

Against all of my hopeful wishing, he called four days later.

For chapter two of this novella, please visit Meagan’s blog: http://perfectsyzygy.blogspot.com

Technical Difficulties: Liar!

This is not the English language channel for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints… I am experiencing technical difficulties… please call the number located in your operating manual now.

This technical difficulty which I am experiencing is communication with others. You see, I have a terrible habit: lying to add spice to conversation. All my life this has not been a problem for me and those with whom I associated. All understood when I was adding intrigue and when I was simply stating facts as I saw them to be. Then came a day when I moved to Utah, a place peppered with its own unique beauty.

Now, the difficulty comes into effect with those who live here. For you see, these wonderful individuals cannot discern what is fabrication and what is factual when I speak. For example, here is a clip from an IM conversation with one of these people:

talking about a topic of extreeme embarassment for one of the parties invloved:
Sleepy in Provo says:
lol
Sleepy in Provo says:
why?
sukoon says:
i am curious
Sleepy in Provo says:
which would you rather we do?
sukoon says:
it is up ta you...
Sleepy in Provo says:
lol
Sleepy in Provo says:
I know
Sleepy in Provo says:
but since you are so interested, I was wondering if you had a preference
sukoon says:
what ever are talking about, i have said scarcely three words concerning the matter
Sleepy in Provo says:
liar

Now, this is a mild case. Just today I have been chastised for my lying thrice. So… I have concluded that I must go for at least a full day without lying once. It will be a challenge and if you happen to be around me for this 24+ hour period, you may notice that I am lacking in spice and creativity… even though I normally have a minimum of that anyway…
(italics added for emphasis)

with His guidance

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Apparently I am lacking in all aspects of the above. I surely am far removed from the beautiful maiden of Serenity. I lack the courage or the fortitude to change slight misfortunes. I am drowning in a black hole void of wisdom. Indubitably I need to realign my sights to look over the sea of tormentuous burdens and set my eyes upon the beckoning light of my Brother- only He will help me conquer the three elements of the quote.

To Sleep or not to Sleep

To sleep, or not to sleep: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous homework,
Or to take arms against a sea of professors,
And by opposing end them? To fail: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural assignments
That students are heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal work,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the tests and papers of time,
The professor's wrong, the teachers assitant's contumely,
The pangs of despised work, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quiet us make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary tasks,
But that the dread of something after school,
The undiscover'd university from whose bourn
No student returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The rash one! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my work remember'd.

The Essence of the Presence of Males

I live in an apartment with wondrous girls… previously described and explained. Now they do a variety of things on their own and together, which is commendable and appreciated. Most things I leave to them, but after a while I begin to bend as if I were a weeping willow finally producing enough leaves to weigh down my wispy branches. For instance: all three of them, Annie, Meagan, and Adriane have guys posted on their computer- either as a background, screensaver, or both. I felt as if I was missing the vitality of life by not having a guy to amorously welcome me every time I logged onto my computer. I have taken care of this previous negligence of mine, and now have Mario Frangoulis as by background screen. Now, I chose him (like Annie chose Josh) because he is an amazing singer and is not terribly wanting for looks to turn heads. I did not choose him because he acted in the movie “Troy.” I mostly like his voice.

Roomming With Disney Princesses

Well, I finally have the ability to overcome technological impairments that I bear (not proudly might I add). I learned, thanks to the help of a lovely roommate, Adriane. Speaking of lovely roommates, I have the greatest. Not only are they entirely intent on making the world a brighter, blissful place, but they fit so nicely into Disney Princess personifications. Let me elaborate:

Annie
We all know and love the tale of the Cinderella. You see, this tale was fashioned after the pulchritudinous Annie. Although she is not dressed in rags and scrubs floors daily, she has to deal with messy apartment messes and where Cinderella has very poor family relations, Annie has roommates that probably don’t live up to par…well at least one of them doesn’t (the young one). Not only is Cinderella a wondrous singer, but Annie can sing as she plays becoming sonnets upon the ivory keys. She is waiting for her fair prince to dance with her in splendid harmony, but knows that the clock will ding and pumpkin time arrives. But she rests assured for she knows that he is out there searching for the maiden of his dreams!

Adriane
Melodious Adriane is quite simply a perfect match with Aurora, aka Sleeping Beauty. Aurora is brought to a diminutive shack to be reared: Adriane moved to la’Villa. While asleep both look as if they are dolls carved to perfection. Aurora’s voice is nice, but it drastically pales in comparison to Adriane’s. Sleeping Beauty is discovered by her prince while she sings a morning melody to nature. This is very plausible in the life of Adriane because her life is a musical. As Aurora endured, so might Adriane be compelled to do as she waits for her true love.

Meagan
The fair and exquisite Meagan is Belle. Hair of splendid brunette, both Belle and Meagan lived in the European region of the world (true they had the location wrong for Belle… to have been accurate it should have been England). Meagan loves her father greatly and enjoys the daring tales found within the accumulation of words in between two covers. She is a while without her prince, and even when she meets him, it takes time for the love to develop. Yet she comes out in the end with a handsome prince with even a greater heart!

So that was my rather unsystematic, weird thought of the day… what did you think you were getting from a blog entitled “cogito: discourses of inner reflection”?