Insomnia? Or just plain weird?!

INSOMNIA
Pronunciation: in-'säm-nE-&
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, from insomnis sleepless, from in- + somnus sleep
: prolonged and usually abnormal inability to obtain adequate sleep
- in·som·ni·ac /-nE-"ak/ adjective or noun

An inability to sleep. Yep that is me. Wanna know what happened last night? It is rather scary: well, not really. Just for the dumb dodo brain that had to live through it.

It was late. The lights were out. No lurking figure from an infamous mafia stalked the apartment like the foggy gloom haunting Lancaster in the September morning chill. The abode left in silence, the weapon fully loaded and safely secured at a mere arm’s reach, I went to bed. Careful, silent, and listening. Two unknown shady characters walk at an unusual clip in the night, at an inconvenient hour. They clung to the shadows and escaped recognition.

I lay there in a sure haven, knowing that none could end my existence this night. Seconds ticked by with the hallow clanking of the Sterling & Nobel Alarm. The seconds culminate into minutes, upon minutes, upon….

No longer could I take such torture. The days of forced sleep should have fled from the many years previous. I arose and found guidance in the Conference Edition of the May 2005 Ensign. “Ah,” thought I, “a little heavenly message to sooth my troubled mind.”

I read “A Still, Small Voice and a Throbbing Heart,” by Bishop Richard C, Edgley. But I could not stop there. I continued to read, bolstered by the good word of the Lord for our modern day until I concluded President Hinckley’s talk, “The Great Things Which God Has Revealed.” One after the other, I read until the time read 5:00.

I forced myself back in between the covers. I lay thus for the space of one half hour. Then I thought about my calling and everything began to fit into some semblance of order. After writing it all down, and diagramming/outlining the rest of the school term, I tried yet again to sleep. I began thinking about various times in my life. Different experiences that I have had. Upon reflecting upon these reflections, I realized there was a common theme: they all included the same guy.

What went through my head? AHHH. That is what. No I do not “like” this guy. No I do not “fancy” this guy in any way. It just happened to be that freak coincidence. Truly, I am not lying in this case.

Disturbed at the guy thinking thing, I prepared myself for my day… mind you it is a quarter to seven in the morning. I don’t have class until 10. I did everything that I could thing of to do. I arranged my room, made my bed twice, redid my nails, tried four different hair do’s (ended up with a sorry looking pony tail). Read in The Book of Mormon, Das Buch Mormon, and Preach my Gospel. I wrote a letter (quite long and detailed…complete with four diagrams) to my sister in the MTC, strategize for later in the day, when it would be just and fair to enact upon others.

Then, at ten to 8 am, I received a call. Hanging up the receiver, I was tempted to cry. I withheld, however. As part of the Mafia, losses have to be taken and handled with stone heartedness. After the call I was afraid to venture from my bedroom, worried I was that some unwelcomed creature lie in wait for me in the kitchen, planning the most devious of deaths. I worked up the gusto though and walked to campus… well started to but then an angel of mercy decided that she did not want to see me dead ( I must look too awful alive to not want to see me dead).

Class was class. Only half of the students show up on a good day. Today was not a good day. After class I warily walked home. Every dozen steps or so I glanced over my shoulder to ensure that I wasn’t about to die. I made it to the apartment. I am yet alive!

The weirdest thing is that it feels that I have had a full 8 hours of sleep.